Monday, December 19, 2011

Kalashnikov

Dear Santa,
     I think that I have been pretty good this year but I have also been bad sometimes but for the most part I’ve been pretty good so I think I deserve a gift or something. So what I really want for Christmas is a AK-47 air soft gun so me and my friends can have air soft wars and that’s about it. Oh yeah and can I also get a Kawasaki Ninja 250R I really want one so yeah that would be really sweet.
    Sincerely,
Gerardo Ortiz

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Gerard.0

     My favorite show of all time I think has to be Tosh.0. I discovered it last year as I was flipping through channels. The reason I like it so much is because it’s the funniest show ever. Even though it might be inappropriate at some moments, and it is  completely racist and sexist. It’s still funny since their not just making fun of one person they’re making fun of everybody so I think that makes it alright. It comes on Comedy Central on Tuesday nights and is hosted by Daniel Tosh.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Balls of Pain

     It all started one day at Shordan’s house. Shordan, Shayne, and me were just chilling in the backyard messing around with Shordan’s new air-soft gun. Then Shordan said “I bet your not a man enough to let me shoot you with my gun, with a full mag.” But you know me of coarse I’m going to accept his challenge. I told him that we should make a video out of it, so that’s what we did. Me being hasty decided to get the excruciating pain over with so we started recording and Shordan and Shayne started shooting. The bb’s were darting at me at about 360 fps (feet per second). As I stood there and took the agonizing pain I could only hope for the mag to discharge. After they ceased to shoot it had felt like a hundred bees had stung me, so I just plopped to the floor. I think that, that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

Friday, December 2, 2011

DropN Soap

    In my opinion soap is one of the greatest inventions of all time. It keeps us clean after we get dirty. It’s especially helpful after athletics, and after working all day. It keeps us from getting sick if we regularly wash our hands and keeps us free of disease. Soap was invented by the mesopatamians but they used it as a type of wax, but eventually they found out it could clean things. That is why I think that it is the greatest invention of all time.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Hitler is Dead

telegraph.co.uk
If I could go back to any other era I would choose to go back to the 1940’s. For one reason only, to stop the holocaust. According to my calculations if I were to stop Hitler from becoming the chancellor of Germany, the holocaust would’ve never occurred.  So I would return to the past and bring my secret weapon to take down Hitler.  I would learn everything about Hitler then when the time was right I would climb on top of a building and pull out my secret weapon, a Barrett 50. cal. As I had him in my sights I thought to myself “what a ugly mustache.” Then I put the suppressor on my Barrett so nobody would be able to hear me and got him in my sights again but this time I saw a shadowy figure behind him, I couldn’t quite make out the face but telling by the body figure it looked exactly like Shawnathon, he was holding a tactical knife and was about to kill Hitler. So then I pulled the trigger and killed him first. After the job was done I’d leave the area. Then I would travel to the U.S and live a regular life.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Whale Slapped

    As Shonathan, Jordan, and I swam to shore I could see a huge crowd on the bay which appeared to be news reporters. I explained to them exactly what happened from my point of view. We were deep in the middle of the sea trying to catch a good wave. Shonathan and Jordan were out on their surf boards while I was on the boat. Then all of a sudden I see a massive blue figure swimming right next to the boat. Then it popped up about 10 feet and all I see is Shonathan getting slapped in the face by the whale’s tail fin then a big slam. The whales fin had hit the boat and completely demolished it. As I try to surface I see the wild beast swim away and Jordan helping Shonathan since he can’t swim. We then grabbed a hold of any floating object we saw and swam back to shore.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

G-Man 2.0

Illustration by Gerardo Ortiz
    If my best friend, Shordan, was sent to jail for something he didn’t do and I had superpowers this is how it would go. First of all Shordan was sent to jail for stealing something that we all know he wouldn’t do. He was sent to jail for stealing MW3, but since he’s my best friend I would get all suited up into my superhero costume, which kind of looks like a cooler version of flash 2.0. My super powers are that I can move at amazing speeds, I have super strength, and the ability to fly. I would arrive at the prison and run past the guards and take their guns so they can’t shoot me. Then I would run to the cell that Shordan was in and bend the bars with my incredible super strength then I would bust the wall down and fly away to a safe location. My superhero name is the G-man.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Split-Sec/ond

     The presentation from yesterday really made a statement. Things can happen in just a matter of seconds. Your whole life can change just by you taking your eyes off the road for a second. There is many consequences for texting and driving or while under the influence of alcohol. Many people can die or get seriously injured by someone who isn't paying attention while driving. There is also many consequences if you take drugs or steroids. Your lungs can get messed up and then you'll have to carry an oxygen tank around wherever you go. If you take steroids it doesn't make you stronger and it defiantly doesn't make you better looking. It messes up your life that's why you need to stay above the influence and always drive carefully.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Unjust Society

     Today’s court system is definitely not impartial. Regular law abiding citizens don’t get special treatment as do celebrities and people that are wealthy. Lindsey Lohan is an example, she only got sent to do community service after she stole a $2,500 necklace. Which as if a regular person would have stolen anything they would’ve got sent to jail or have had to do something more serious than doing community service. Lindsey also violated her parole by showing up to community service forty minutes late, but this isn’t the first time Lindsey has gotten in trouble with the law. She has also been caught driving drunk in 2007. The consequences for everybody’s actions all need to be the same, because if only some people get off easy, they will never learn their lesson and will continue breaking laws.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Halloween

    Halloween is always a fun time of year, you get lots of candy and your practically out all night. I don’t go trick or treating but always steal my little sister’s candy that she brings home. I don’t recall that many halloween nights, but I can remember one. It was halloween and my cousin and I went to the movies to watch a scary movie.  After we got home we just went walking around town, we didn’t really do much the rest of the night just kind of chilled. That’s the only halloween I can remember.
     My favorite ghost story that I have ever heard is the one that my mom told me. She told me the story of “La Llorona” which means crying lady in Spanish. It’s the story of a women that drowned her children in a river and now cries for her children. She told me that when she used to live in Mexico she once heard her shrieking cry, and that my grandmother had also heard it.
    I don’t really know any halloween jokes so I just got these from google, they aren’t really funny but they’re the only okay ones I found.

Why don’t skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin

When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I Am Legend

Your legacy is something that people will remember you by. By the time I’m gone, I hope that people will remember me as someone who has changed the world and saved lives. I want to pursue a career where I can save lives, but also change the world.  I think choosing a career like this will help me with the legacy I’m trying to leave behind. I think maybe joining the army or doing something of that sort, I will be able to fulfill my legacy. That’s the reason I think God put me on this Earth, to save lives. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Worst Food Ever

The most repulsive food that has ever slithered down my throat has got to be rotten milk. It was a summer morning and I was making some cereal for breakfast and there was two gallons of milk in the fridge, I got the 2% because it was the one that was already open. I poured it into my bowl and finished the whole gallon because there was only a little bit left. Then my little cousin, said he wanted some cereal so I made him some and I opened the other gallon of milk and I poured it into his bowl. After he took his first bite, he said that the milk tasted sickening, I didn’t pay much attention to him though. He kept on saying that it was disgusting, so i finally decided to try it. As I picked up the spoon of the most repellent food ever, it looked fine to me. Then I took the bite and it was definitely everything he said it was and more, it was foul, vile, and nauseating. I almost threw up after that, so I immediately threw it away and that was the end of that.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Music

I like mostly every kind of music, except country. The main kind of music I listen to is rap though and some spanish music. I like it because it expresses me and makes you want to fist pump. My favorite artist is Drake, because I can listen to his songs over and over and never get tired of them. My favorite song is “Headlines” by Drake. My least favorite artist is Justin Beber because his music bores me and I can’t stand it. My parents listen to a lot of spanish music, I approve of their music because since they play it a lot, I started liking it too. I really don’t know if they approve of my music though, because they don’t speak english so they don’t understand most of it.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Principles of Right & Wrong

The entertainment industry has definitely changed, and we have become more tolerant about language on television. I don’t think it’s wrong to have some language as long as children don’t watch shows that they aren’t old enough to watch, but some shows have crossed the line of whats right and whats wrong. Movies and television shows have started to show more language, nudity, and violence, the entertainment industry thinks that this will get more viewers but honestly they just want to make more money. The music industry has also changed, almost all of the songs that are produced now are explicit. I think that this is morally wrong because children shouldn’t be watching or listening to any of this stuff.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hope

This is a picture of the teardrop monument, gave to the U.S by the Russians. This monument is located in New Jersey and is lined up with the Statue of Liberty. This teardrop not only represents the sadness that occurred the day of 9-11 but also hope for the future, free of terrorism. It represents hope because it shows that even though you have made us cry, you haven't broke our spirits to keep on going.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Favorite Past Times

Some of my favorite past times is with my friends. Just hanging out with them is fun, because we always do something crazy. When i’m with my friends i’m never bored and it’s always a good time. Another activity that I like to do is skateboard even though i’m probably the worst skater in the world, it’s pretty fun and it’s so hilarious when somebody, or you slams. I first became involved in it when one of my friends asked me if I wanted to go skate with him and then we just started skating a lot more. One of my hobbies I just like to do is, draw. I like to draw because, when i’m drawing I just forget about everything else and just draw what I see or feel.  I guess I got involved in drawing when I realized that I was actually pretty good at it. Another activity that I like to do is play soccer, it’s fun and its a good way to stay in shape. I first got involved in it when my cousin asked me if I wanted to go play soccer with him. Those are just some of my favorite past times.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Back to School

     School has officially started, and that means no more sleeping till noon. The first week has been pretty easy with not that much homework, but i’m sure it’s just going to get much harder. There’s some classes that I’m going to enjoy a lot like “AG” mostly because we get to learn how to weld and build things. Another class that I like is “Spanish” because I already know how to speak it pretty good and it’s easy for me. The hardest class I think would be Algebra, because I can’t remember anything I learned last year, but I think I’ll start remembering after a while. I still think it’s going to be a great school year!